Don't Know What You Want To Do? Or What You're Good At? Here's How I Found My Answer.

November 30, 2022

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By Kevin Scheitrum, Out Pitch Media Founder

“I don’t know what I want to do.”

“I don’t know what I’m good at.”

I hear both all the time. And every time, I think, “you just forgot.” Because I did, too. 

Out Pitch Media came out of my process to find it again. And today, I wanted to share a few things that helped me — in case they can help you remember, too.

Many thanks here to The Hoffman Process.

Listen To Your Small ‘Wants’ 

I always had a hard time answering what I wanted long-term. The big stuff. The dream jobs, the 15-year plans.

For me, that created a lot of paralysis over time. I’d talk myself out of big swings, and just play it safe. Live to play another day.

Every time I talked myself out of it, I felt myself fade a little bit. I’d fall into autopilot.

So I started listening to what my body wanted (mostly burritos). And my mind. And my soul. The simpler, the smaller, the better.

I stacked singles. Easy wins. The singles became a rally. And the more I found myself able to say yes to my wants & needs, the more confidence I felt. Turns out just saying needs out loud is a win.

It’s easier to talk yourself out of something big than it is for something small. Listen to what your body, mind and soul are telling you. Note it. And (in most cases) go get it.

When we listen honestly to what we need, we’re honoring our truth. Our authenticity. Power flows from there.

Don’t Give Away Your Power

When I got more in touch with those small wants, it felt like hearing my self again.

It had felt like I was living for everybody else for so long. Mirroring. Trying to be something to everyone.

Maybe you feel that way, too.

We hit the workforce. We start advancing our careers … it’s easy to start optimizing for approval. For advancement.

But when we do that, we can lose the inherent value — and the joy — of what we’re good at it. Because the value just exists in someone else’s eyes. Out of that, we don’t take certain opportunities because we won’t be perfect. So we don’t even try.

Just like #1, getting in touch with what I loved to do, and why, changed the game.

Own Your Hurt

Often, what we’re afraid of — judgment, failure, etc — can just be a mask for what we’re really afraid of. 

The really deep stuff. Unworthiness. That we’re broken. Shame. 

We’ve all got it. For a lot of us, those things are what created our personalities — our masks.

For me, I just always felt like a house of cards. The persona I created was defined myself by success, by being ‘great’ — whatever that means. It felt like failure would make it all crash down, and I had to outrun it.

Then I got laid off in the Dapper Labs layoffs this summer. And the work began.

I faced all the stuff I was afraid of. And why I felt like I needed to create a mask, and build a life to fit it.

Our hurt, our struggle, is part of our story. 

I found that the more honest I was about that hurt, the less power it has. And the easier it was to trust myself. 

Do Some New (Difficult) Things

For me, it was hiking. I used to hate hiking.

Like, hate it hate it. 

But spending time up in the mountains in the Hudson Valley kept telling me one thing. This was way easier than I thought. (And now I can have more burritos)

I’d finish the hike, look up and see the ground I’d covered. It seemed impossible at the start, and it seemed impossible again at the end. But it just took, like, 3 hours. And I had a whole rest of the day left! 

It’s all easier than we think. Don’t be afraid to creatively design your future.

Question Your Doubt

The voice inside telling you no? That you can’t do something?

Ask it why. Make it provide data, as the great Jamie Gelbuch says.

More often than not, it’s something you learned long ago that’s hiding some fear.

It’s natural. It’s a survival mechanism to register negative comments as more impactful than positive ones, according to science. Basically, people with a negative bias were more likely to identify a threat.

So the voice won’t go away. But make it do some damn work. 

If You’ve Gotten This Far

I thought I’d lost so much. Connection to my talents, my gifts, joy. Connection to myself.

Again, maybe you feel that way, too.

But you haven’t lost anything. Your power is closer than you think.

And you’ve got a story to tell.

If you’re ready to master how you tell it, we’re here. 

Drop us a note at our Contact page to get started.

By Kevin Scheitrum, Out Pitch Media Founder

“I don’t know what I want to do.”

“I don’t know what I’m good at.”

I hear both all the time. And every time, I think, “you just forgot.” Because I did, too. 

Out Pitch Media came out of my process to find it again. And today, I wanted to share a few things that helped me — in case they can help you remember, too.

Many thanks here to The Hoffman Process.

Listen To Your Small ‘Wants’ 

I always had a hard time answering what I wanted long-term. The big stuff. The dream jobs, the 15-year plans.

For me, that created a lot of paralysis over time. I’d talk myself out of big swings, and just play it safe. Live to play another day.

Every time I talked myself out of it, I felt myself fade a little bit. I’d fall into autopilot.

So I started listening to what my body wanted (mostly burritos). And my mind. And my soul. The simpler, the smaller, the better.

I stacked singles. Easy wins. The singles became a rally. And the more I found myself able to say yes to my wants & needs, the more confidence I felt. Turns out just saying needs out loud is a win.

It’s easier to talk yourself out of something big than it is for something small. Listen to what your body, mind and soul are telling you. Note it. And (in most cases) go get it.

When we listen honestly to what we need, we’re honoring our truth. Our authenticity. Power flows from there.

Don’t Give Away Your Power

When I got more in touch with those small wants, it felt like hearing my self again.

It had felt like I was living for everybody else for so long. Mirroring. Trying to be something to everyone.

Maybe you feel that way, too.

We hit the workforce. We start advancing our careers … it’s easy to start optimizing for approval. For advancement.

But when we do that, we can lose the inherent value — and the joy — of what we’re good at it. Because the value just exists in someone else’s eyes. Out of that, we don’t take certain opportunities because we won’t be perfect. So we don’t even try.

Just like #1, getting in touch with what I loved to do, and why, changed the game.

Own Your Hurt

Often, what we’re afraid of — judgment, failure, etc — can just be a mask for what we’re really afraid of. 

The really deep stuff. Unworthiness. That we’re broken. Shame. 

We’ve all got it. For a lot of us, those things are what created our personalities — our masks.

For me, I just always felt like a house of cards. The persona I created was defined myself by success, by being ‘great’ — whatever that means. It felt like failure would make it all crash down, and I had to outrun it.

Then I got laid off in the Dapper Labs layoffs this summer. And the work began.

I faced all the stuff I was afraid of. And why I felt like I needed to create a mask, and build a life to fit it.

Our hurt, our struggle, is part of our story. 

I found that the more honest I was about that hurt, the less power it has. And the easier it was to trust myself. 

Do Some New (Difficult) Things

For me, it was hiking. I used to hate hiking.

Like, hate it hate it. 

But spending time up in the mountains in the Hudson Valley kept telling me one thing. This was way easier than I thought. (And now I can have more burritos)

I’d finish the hike, look up and see the ground I’d covered. It seemed impossible at the start, and it seemed impossible again at the end. But it just took, like, 3 hours. And I had a whole rest of the day left! 

It’s all easier than we think. Don’t be afraid to creatively design your future.

Question Your Doubt

The voice inside telling you no? That you can’t do something?

Ask it why. Make it provide data, as the great Jamie Gelbuch says.

More often than not, it’s something you learned long ago that’s hiding some fear.

It’s natural. It’s a survival mechanism to register negative comments as more impactful than positive ones, according to science. Basically, people with a negative bias were more likely to identify a threat.

So the voice won’t go away. But make it do some damn work. 

If You’ve Gotten This Far

I thought I’d lost so much. Connection to my talents, my gifts, joy. Connection to myself.

Again, maybe you feel that way, too.

But you haven’t lost anything. Your power is closer than you think.

And you’ve got a story to tell.

If you’re ready to master how you tell it, we’re here. 

Drop us a note at our Contact page to get started.

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